inspiring....

found this poem while surfing...i can totally relate to this. Each line strikes a chord to my heart. That's how well it sums up what I am feeling day to day.

DESIDERATA

written by Max Ehrmann


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.


As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.


If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.


Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.


Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

The past few days have been extremely toxic. I am so stressed lately that I am losing interest in everything, except the summer camp. Am so looking forward to that! And don't forget Vesak Day! We don't have a performance yet, but we'll think of something. After all, we're not called the "two week group" for nothing. Although this time, we might have less than two weeks to prepare. haha

I am thinking about leaving my job. The jobs great, yes. But recently, too much work has been piled on me, even things that aren't really in my job description. Then there is an office mate that I am having problems with an office mate right now. She tends to pass whatever work that has been assigned to her to me(actually, its more like, she barks her order. Imagine Cinderella's stepmother and stepsisters). I told her nicely that I have lots to do and that maybe she could do it herself if its urgent. Now, she's not talking to me. Well, fine by me, at least she's not giving me extra work na. hehe

busy busy busy

Life has been hectic the past few months. So many things to do...trying so hard to balance work and YAD and family, somehow 24 hours a day seems too short. I have barely had a good nights' rest since January. Unfortunately, it has caused me to be cranky. haha Am looking forward to my vacation in April. Although, it worries me as well. I am wondering how we're going to be finishing all the things that need to be accomplished in just a few weeks' time.

Aside from having an extremely long list of things to do, there are still other pressures from other outside forces, things that are unexpectedly popping up, and not having a lot of people. It's sort of driving me crazy, thinking what I should do next. This is all overwhelming me. I am trying to learn to prioritize and most importantly, dealing with difficult people. The latter is my most important agenda now.

This, like all things, shall pass....Just have to endure the stress for a few more months. 53 days till camp!

Still accepting registrants! Email me for inquiries. kichiko_yawun @ yahoo.com

it's saturday night...and am home

Not that that's new, but I wanted to go out today. I was already excited for it. But then, the monthly visitor came, and I've got a bad case of cramps again. Grrr...So, now am sitting here in front of my laptop, doing work, talking to my cousin over Skype and organizing a summer camp while my friends are out. hahaha sour-graping again :P

Although, I feel that I accomplished some stuff this afternoon. I at least finished the division of tasks for the talk next Sunday, and have all the posts filled up.

There's so much going on in my life right now. And it's so hard figuring out which to start on first. There's work, BLIA YAD, family and friends. Each has its own sublist of things to do. WAAAAH!

I think I can, I think I can...that's my mantra now.

I'm praying that I come out of this in one piece. Thank you to everybody for keeping up with me, and for understanding my extremely late reaction when you talk to me and for the times I look like I might bite them when they ask for something. Thank you also to my newest comfort drink from Starbucks, Decaf Soy Latte, for allowing me to relax with a warm cup of you in my hands when the going gets really rough.

new year, new goals

I haven't really been up to writing or anything lately...I haven't had the chance to slow down and breathe for a long long long time, not even during the Christmas break. There was always something to do. And then, there was the cool weather. That also made me a little bit more sluggish than normal. hehehehe

With the new year going (and the Chinese New Year just around the corner), I'd like to make a few notes to myself about what I want to accomplish this year.
1. MBA applications - What happened to those? hahaha I still haven't pushed through with my MBA applications and most importantly, taking the GMAT. I've always feared rejection and I think it's time to make the leap. Well, have to be well prepared before I actually do that though. So, I'm going to start reviewing.

2. Have more courage to express myself - I've always had trouble doing this. Although I am better at writing down my feelings than saying it out loud. But either way, I still suck at self expression. I need to learn to stand up, take a stand rather, and let the world know what I think, and not just say "Yes" to everything.

I really like this quote from U.S. Pres. Barack Obama,"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." This quote is going to be my new inspiration to work harder, be stronger, live more, love more and laugh more.

year-ender

So much has happened...maybe a little too much haha either that, or I actually was "living" more this year.

Things have been crazy at times, a little overly hectic, and then, sometimes mundane and boring. There were days I got so stressed that I just wanted to lock myself in my room and curl up and sleep and not care about the world for once. I guess if I had to use one word to explain this year, it'd probably be whirlwind. So much has happened. Most of them unplanned. It is true that the only constant thing in this world is change. Change which proved that I was capable to go through hardships and come out stronger.

Memorable moments of my year 2008 include:
1) finding a new job- This happened earlier this year. Yes, it made me feel more like I had a future. However, the biggest downside would be learning to be extremely careful with what you say to people. Somehow, everybody has a hidden agenda. I now have to practice learning to be "plastic", which is extremely not me. I am the type who is so frank and straightforward. It's just too hard to live behind a mask.

2) I loved and lost. - Yes, I did. Not many people know this. I never brought this up with anyone, except a handful of people. I learned a lot through this though. It hurt a lot when after I asked for space, I found out that I loved him. I love him for his eccentricities, his kindness, his understanding, his dreams, his everything. Although yea, there are some things that he does that totally annoy me. But I love the whole package.

3) being elected as YAD President - This totally came as a surprise as I went to the elections thinking about whom to elect as President. It never went through my mind that I would be the one getting the seat. I hope I will be able to do a good job. The past President's have all been so successful. I have lots to learn, not only from them but also from the Venerables and the Uncles/auntie's as well. I hope that I will be a good leader, but I promise that I will not only lead but be lead as well. We are all in this together, and I wish that we will have more active members that will work together for a bigger and better YAD.First up, I hope everybody's ready for the summer camp next year. We've got loads of fun-filled activities waiting for all our campers this year.